What an ass

Donkey has his bray in court

FACED with complaints from a neighbour that his donkey was too noisy, Texas lawyer Gregory Shamoun took his case directly to court and had the donkey testify.
But while jurors debated the volume of Buddy’s bray, the warring parties settled.This article:New ScotsmanLast updated: 19-Apr-07 00:12 BST

Blooming myth

Ooh, flowers! You really shouldn’t have, darling

WOMEN think men who say it with flowers are boring and unoriginal.
In a survey, 54 per cent of women said they were embarrassed rather than excited when a bouquet was delivered to their desk, while 63 per cent said they were bored with receiving flowers.
Only 5 per cent of women said flowers were their favourite gift and 19 per cent would only be happy if they came with another present; 32 per cent complained that flowers served no purpose.

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 19-Apr-07 00:12 BST

Bear cares

Death threat for celebrity bear cub

GERMANY’S celebrity polar bear cub, Knut, has received an anonymous death threat, causing alarm at Berlin Zoo yesterday and prompting heightened security.
Bild newspaper said the zoo had received a hand-written fax from a suspected animal hater with the words: “Knut is dead! Thursday midday.”
But that deadline came and went safely for media star Knut, who has been on newspaper front pages for weeks. “He is safe and in good spirits,” said Ragnar Kuehne, a zoo official.
Berlin Zoo’s business manager Gerald Uhlich said: “They told us prominent figures often have things like this happen but in this instance we need not be too worried.”

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 20-Apr-07 01:00 BST

Finn end of the wedge

The country where corridors of power echo to sound of stilettos

TERHI KINNUNEN AND MATTI HUUHTANEN IN HELSINKI

FINLAND yesterday became the only country in the world to have a majority female government.
Matti Vanhanen, the prime minister, has 12 women in his 20-minister centre-right coalition cabinet, believed to be the highest proportion of women in any government in the world.
The cabinet was officially appointed by Tarja Halonen, who is Finland’s first female president and has been head of state since 2000.
A total of 84 women won seats in Finland’s 200-member parliament in general elections last month.

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 19-Apr-07 00:12 BST

Roped in

Bell tower sees post office counter reformation

By Stewart Payne

Praise the Lord and pass the stamps. The village of Whitwell on the Isle of Wight has saved its post office by relocating it to the church. A one-year trial started last week. On Monday and Friday mornings the postmistress from nearby Niton, Mavis Barclay, sets up shop in the bell tower, assisted by her husband Roger and post office clerk Heather Knowles. In among the bell ropes, the post office area is a snug 3ft 6in by 3ft 6in. At the end of trading everything has to be packed away for Sunday service.

Daily Telegraph
Last Updated: 12:54am BST 23/04/2007

Tough on Crime

Prisoner wins tougher sentence

ALASTAIR Scobbie, 36, went on the run from Castle Huntly open prison in Dundee on 28 February because he wanted to be sent back to a tougher regime, Perth Sheriff Court heard yesterday. Two months was added to his 40-month sentence for theft.

This article:New Scotsman

Last updated: 06-Mar-07 13:06 GMT

Criminally smart

Prank claim frees handcuffed man

A HANDCUFFED man who fled police got a passer-by to free him by saying it was a stag night prank.
At Cardiff Crown Court, Ryan Newell 21, was given 80 hours of unpaid work and ordered to pay £500 costs for the incident on 16 December in south Wales.

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 12-Apr-07 00:11 BST

Criminally stupid

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Scotland’s ‘dumbest crook’ jailed for break-in

RUSSELL JACKSON

A MAN dubbed the dumbest crook in Scotland has been jailed for 16 months for house breaking.
David McGregor broke into an 80-year-old woman’s Perth home and stole more than £2,000 worth of jewellery.
But he was easily spotted as he climbed in through a window dressed in distinctive white gloves like a snooker referee.
In broad daylight, and while being watched by neighbours who gave the police a running commentary, he ransacked pensioner Catherine McArthur’s bedroom while she was at home.
McGregor – who notched up his 100th conviction committing the robbery – got no more than 100 metres away from the house before being caught by police.
The break-in on 29 January this year is the latest in a long list of criminal errors by the 35-year-old heroin addict.
McGregor first earned the title of Scotland’s dumbest criminal in 2002 when he ended up in hospital after swallowing jewellery he had stolen.
He denied stealing £4,000 worth of jewels – but a hospital X-ray clearly showed the haul inside his stomach. It took five enemas and nine days for him to give up the haul.
Since then, McGregor has been jailed several more times for offences marking varying degrees of ineptitude and stupidity.
He was caught passing off a fake £10 note in his local shop after being overheard saying “I got a result” as he left.
He dropped an axe concealed in his sleeve following a confrontation in his local pub and was caught trying to use a stolen bank card when staff noticed it was in a woman’s name.

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 12-Apr-07 00:11 BST

Grassed up

Underwater weeding trial

AN UNDERWATER lawnmower could help feed Australia’s hungry cattle population, inventors believe.
The device is being trialled in Western Australia as a way of getting rid of weeds clogging lakes and irrigation channels.
But it is thought the weed “harvest” will be useful for cattle feed in a state where farmers are increasingly threatened by drought.
The aquatic vegetation groomer has cutter blades attached to a pontoon and can be trawled through weedy channels to help clear them.

This article: New Scotsman

Last updated: 12-Apr-07 00:11 BST

Fishy story

Volcano’s fury throws up mystery fish

SCIENTISTS on the Indian Ocean island of Reunion have discovered hundreds of fish of unknown species, floating belly-up in the sea, following a spectacular volcanic eruption over the past week.
“It’s crazy. We’ve never seen this with previous eruptions,” said Alain Barrere, a scientific adviser to the island’s Volcano Observatory.
Along with two scientists working for Reunion’s aquarium, he collected specimens of the dead fish, which have bulging eyes, heads sometimes protracted by a beak and appear to have surfaced from depths of about 500 metres.
Mr Barrere said he hoped the specimens would help them determine “where they came from and how they died”.

This article:New Scotsman

Last updated: 09-Apr-07 00:05 BST